Nathrania

Spoke to Cam tonight which was nice as always. Usually it leaves me in a much better mood and puts a glow on the rest of the night. Unfortunately though it looks like their schedule has been altered and they’ve got to do an extra trip to China and back. New ETA for him coming home is now late October. Another two fucking months!!! I’ve only been getting through the last week or so at work purely by reminding myself that it’s only a few more weeks till I’ll have him in my arms and now I’m not going to get that for what seems like an eternity.

There’s nothing I can do about it, but recognising that doesn’t help me at all. I really dislike not being in control of the situation. It’s very unlike me and I don’t like giving up that power. He says he’ll make it up to me when he gets back, but I don’t expect anything special as I know these are the terms of the relationship. I just wish I could give him a hug or even just see his cheeky smirk in person. I’m also realising that his next stay at home won’t be as great as before as I’m working full time now. Lazy weekday lunches in roma street parklands, late brunches at what ever hour we decide to roll out of bed and taking max to the dog park for his 4pm playtime juust aren’t going to be an option anymore. It’ll just be the weekends and weeknights which add up to a whole lot of not much when he’s only back for 10 weeks.

That’s my little vent for the night. I know all these shitty conditions are far outweighed by having the luck of finding someone I feel so strongly about so soon after Hec and I ended. That doesn’t mean I still don’t feel them though.